21st century courting


Most girls would not long for the good old days of balls in their local village hall a la ‘Pride and Prejudice’. Yes women were the property of their fathers and then their husbands, but then they didn’t have the modern day problem of finding a man. It seems beyond ridiculous in the 21st century that a beautiful, successful and funny girl in the form of a close friend of mine has been single for years. She has done everything right. She has widened her circle of friends, expanded her idea of the perfect man, visited new venues and has even ventured into the world of internet dating. Yet, she is still to meet a guy.  Misogynism and subordination aside, the yonder years were much easier for finding the right man. Once you turned a certain age (usually around 18) you were ‘introduced’ to society and were then ‘out in company’ and ready to be wooed and courted. Apart from the occasional scandal, men were attentive and virtuous with their future wives interests in mind. Now all men think about is their mini-me in their pants. Then perhaps the fact that my lovely friend is very successful at a young age in her industry that men are put off? Maybe men are stuck in the dark ages more than I thought.

Other than the workplace or through friends, where do modern ladies meet the man of their dreams? When after a few cocktails we venture onto the dance floor, it then becomes a huge mission for a man to approach a lady of interest. If they are able to firstly get your attention while you are bopping and manages to not get knocked over by your friend’s over enthusiastic dance moves, he then has to shout over the music and find something entertaining to say. Too big a group of girls and men are repelled by the pack mentality, and if approached on the tube whilst by oneself, his sanity is questioned. They can’t win really, bless them.

When I think about how all of my coupled friends met their partners, the majority of them met at work (including myself). However if this is not possible, what is the alternative? Internet dating is hit or miss, with some guys looking for a casual fling and others being socially inept, and speed dating appears to have diminished in London for the under 40’s. Remember ‘Street Mate’ when Davina McCall would run up to the fit guy in the street and ask him to go on a date with you? Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could hire someone to do this? Yellow pages! I seriously think there is a gap in the dating market for someone like Will Smith’s character in ‘Hitch’.

Why the obsession with dating when I am already in a relationship I hear you cry? Well yes it would be great to find my final single friend the man that she deserves, but it is more than that. I am completely fascinated by what makes people get together and how. Would I be with my partner if I met him in a bar instead of at work? Who knows, is the answer. Relationships and love seem to be completely random in the sense that there is no blue print. It may be a cliché but it does appear that you only find your soul mate by being yourself and literally bumping into him in a crowded room. Although a Wonderbra and slick of lip gloss doesn’t do any harm now does it.


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