Something that has always puzzled me is how does everyone know how attractive they are to the opposite sex, and how do we know how attractive a person is of the opposite sex that we are likely to attract? We have all heard the saying ‘She/he is out of my league’. So if Brad Pitt is in the Premiership and Johnny Vegas is in the Vauxhall Conference league (that’s the crappy league to us girls), then I must be somewhere in between, but how do we know what league we are in??
I put this question to some of my friends who were a little cynical about the whole human league theory however one of my wise friends hit the nail on the head – we have to rely on our own judgment of our aesthetic selves, guided by the attention and comments of people around us. Most people whether they admit it or not tend to know how attractive they are and where they sit in the league. I’m sure you’ll all agree that the preferred method of hot people scoring just has to be the good old ‘marks out of 10’ opening the way for there being 10 leagues. When recently watching an episode of ‘Joey’ (spin off from Friends) I found his theory of hitting on people both amusing and inspirational. Joey says that once you know what number out of 10 you are, you should then hit on someone up to two marks below you. His theory being that if you try it on with someone 2 marks below you, you are more likely to be successful as they will think that you are out of their league. But maybe the whole concept of us all being in leagues is just a little bit too shallow, maybe we should stop judging everyone we meet on their appearance and look for the beauty inside?
There are some over confident people who believe that they are far more attractive than they actually are, and then there are beautiful people who just don’t seem to know it. Personally I prefer the latter, arrogance really is not a sexy quality in a person.‘Ugly duckling syndrome’ has often been cited as the reason a person may be both gorgeous and a lovely person – this is when a person didn’t become attractive until college or university and therefore had to develop a personality out of necessity. Then by the time they become attractive they probably didn’t know it and continued to be personable and humble. But then again it might just be down to that person being lucky enough to have the full package.
But what determines whether a person is attractive? In our culture it is generally seen as someone who is slim – women with blonde hair and men tall dark and handsome. Subconsciously and instinctively men are drawn to women with blonde hair and blue eyes as this reminds them of youth, innocence and fertility, whilst women are drawn to guys with dark hair as this is the opposite of youthful and innocent – it makes them look manly and being taller than us makes us feel protected. Realistically we all have different tastes in people, the same as we all have different tastes in food and clothes. I go for guys who are tall and manly, while at the same time have long eyelashes and a boyish smile, whereas one of my friends likes guys to look rough and ready, with a lot of stubble and very likely to work on a building site. Lust is driven by our sex hormones – testosterone and oestrogen. These hormones are what get us out ‘on the pull’. ‘Cupid’s Theory’ is the power of pheromones and the theory of how we are attracted to others. Pheromones are smell prints, supposedly as unique as our finger prints. Smell is the most primitive of human senses and pheromones exist in our under arm sweat (yum) – the emotion they provoke can, quite literally ‘turn us on’!! So next time you’re out on a mission to pull a member of the opposite sex, get on that dance floor, and move your ass like there’s no tomorrow, hopefully working up enough pheromones to assist you on your way (just remember to wear a deodorant to banish that B.O).
So we now hopefully all have an idea of how attractive we may be and can appreciate that everyone has a different idea of what being attractive is. The word ‘attractive’ is a loose term as it can be applied to many things and doesn’t necessarily mean good looking – a sense of humour is the most ‘attractive’ thing to me when looking for a potential partner. Looks are much more important when we are younger and trying to fit in with our peers, as we grow up we look for different attributes in a partner. Once you pass the quarter of a century mark other things come into the mix, like whether they are close to their family, have a good job, have similar interests to you and like the same type of holidays as you. I might still objectify hot guys on TV and in magazines using the old ‘marks out of 10’ but in real life there are much more important things to consider when looking for a love match. Luckily I have already found mine and his score is off the Richter scale.